This week's Top Ten Tuesday topic from The Broke and the Bookish is a freebie. Since I've been reading a lot of cozy mysteries lately and watching a lot of Murder She Wrote (where each episode is essentially a cozy mystery) the trends that exist in the genre have been in my mind. It is a genre that I absolutely love so I decided to have a little fun with the trends. So the Top Ten Things I've Learned from Cozy Mysteries as Told Through Eyes of the Main Character:
1. You will find a body in the vicinity of your store on an annual basis.
2. If you are the relative, friend, or significant other of a small business owner you will be a murderer, suspected of murder, framed for murder, or if you're really unlucky, actually murdered.
3. The police in your town will either be:
a) incredibly incompetent and/or corrupt
b) a long time family friend
c) your husband or boyfriend and if you're really lucky will have an ex on the force who is out to get you.
4. Beware of visitors. They will either be victims or murderers within 48 hours of arrival.
5. If you get in a public argument with someone and at any point say something that sounds even vaguely like a threat they only have about 12 hours left to live.
6. Your store, diner, restaurant or home will be set on fire, broken into, or vandalized at least once a year.
7. People who move to your town are up to no good. They are either targeting another resident or hiding from someone who is out to get them.
8. Every small town has at least one boutique, one bookstore, one diner, one antique shop and one gift type store. Don't get to friendly with the other owners. They're either about to die or going to kill someone.
9. The mayor very rarely fills an entire term as he/she is either murdered or arrested for murder midway through. Unless you're the mayor. Then it will be the police chief.
10. You will have a pet. It could be a dog or a cat but it could also be a bird, a rabbit,or even a tortoise. Your pet will have an attitude and you will discuss the case with it.
I really love your post, it made me laugh but you're absolutely right about those points !
ReplyDeleteLOVE THIS!!! Very creative and fun!
ReplyDeleteYes, you are SPOT ON! Very cute post.
ReplyDeleteLove it! I don't read a lot of mysteries, but enough to know this is very true!
ReplyDeleteOh, I love love love this top ten! Great idea and very accurate, too! :)
ReplyDeleteThis was great! And so true. You've got those cozies nailed. You should write one and incorporate all the 'rules'. LOL
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny. I can't stop laughing! :) Great post!
ReplyDeleteHumorous list, Katherine, and so very true. You've listed all the reasons I find cozies appealing. I especially like numbers 4 & 5.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious! And these are so true too! :)
ReplyDeletehttp://youmeandacupofteablog.blogspot.com/2015/05/top-ten-tuesday-freebie.html
Hahaha! I got nothing else except LOL! That's a really good list to keep in mind if I ever move to small town and find myself in a murder mystery. :)
ReplyDeleteHappy reading!
Brittany @ This is the Story of My(Reading) Life
Haha. Such fun! I love Murder, She Wrote. I especially love the episodes set in Cabot Cove with Seth. He is such a funny guy. My mother and I always joke that you don't want to be a relative of Jessica's because you are bound to be accused of murder.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget; you will be suspected of murder at least once. Occasionally framed.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, great list! So funny. I don't read much cozy mysteries anymore, but I remember coming across most of these often. One of the best things about cozy mysteries, I always thought.
What fun! I love this, especially number ten :)
ReplyDeleteThis is freaking awesome! <3
ReplyDeleteBwahaha, I love it! Way to get creative with your free week.
ReplyDeleteEspecially number 10 :) So true!
This is great. I don't read a ton of cozies, but if the right one comes along I enjoy them. There's something comforting about them, and I like that they're not too graphic. Plus fun! It's good to know these rules, plus pets that help to solve crimes - too funny! :)
ReplyDeleteYou just made me LOL. I've watched my share of murder she wrote in my day but it's been a long time. Lately I've been watching way too much lifetime movie channel. And you're write. All the protagonists have connections to the law and all the victims are shopkeepers of some sort. Great list
ReplyDeleteHilarious list, Katherine. There's a couple of things on your list in my books - maybe I should include more??
ReplyDeleteSounds about right! :D
ReplyDeleteCheck out my TTT.
Haha! I loved reading your list, Katherine. I am still laughing. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis was a fun topic to pick. I love cozies!
ReplyDeleteLOL LOL LOL!!! Your lists are awesome!!
ReplyDelete