Top Ten Tuesday - Five Signs You’re in a Cozy Mystery and Five Signs You Aren’t

This Week's Top Ten Tuesday topic from That Artsy Reader Girl is a freebie.  A few years ago I did a post entitled - Ten Things I Learned From Cozy Mysteries. I've read a lot of cozy mysteries since then and I decided it was time to update the list just a bit so you can be prepared to stumble over a dead body periodically or relieved to know you're in the clear.  I'm a big cozy mystery fan so this is all in good fun.

Signs You Are In a Cozy Mystery:

1.  You have recently uprooted your life in the big city (New York/Chicago/San Francisco preferably) either because something in your life unraveled or because you were called home by an ailing relative  or other family crisis.

2.  You find yourself surrounded by a crowd of quirky retirees (it is acceptable to be one yourself) who have very complicated and active social lives, aren’t afraid to speak their mind, and tend to get suspected of murder.

3. You either own or work in a small business.  Diners and junk stores are preferred but farmers markets, bakeries, bookstores, and boutiques are acceptable.  You can also refinish furniture found at a junk store.  Inns are also okay.

4.  You have a relative with boundary issues who you are always doing crazy favors for or is always talking you in to running craft fairs or festivals.  It can be a mother, grandmother, aunt, or sister but it is usually a woman.

5.  You live in kind of waterfront town- any kind of water - but it must have lots of festivals.

Signs You Aren't in a Cozy Mystery

1.  You work for a large corporation.  Basically if your company has shareholders and a board of directors you won’t be stumbling over a body when you go to pick up lunch.  The exception is libraries.  If you’re a librarian you’re still not safe.

2.  You live in a big city.  Now this could come apart at any point (see #1 in Signs You Are) but for now you’re safe.

3.  You don’t have pets.  If you don’t have a dog, cat, or bird to discuss things with you’re probably okay.

4.  You have no hobbies that require supplies and you don’t go to antique/junk stores.  These kinds of stores are full of dead bodies so it’s best if you avoid them.  TV is way safer.

5.  You aren’t very nice.  It seems that only nice people find bodies regularly and get periodically suspected of murdered.  The only problem here is that if you’re not very nice that significantly increases your chance of being the body in cozy mystery land.

Do you read cozy mysteries?  Do you agree or disagree with these?  Any I need to add for next time?