Top Ten Tuesday - Ten Things I've Learned From Cozy Mysteries

 

Today I'm linking up with Top Ten Tuesday hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl which is all about lists.  Since lists are one of my favorite things this is one of my favorite linkups!  Today's topic is a freebie and since I've read a LOT of cozy mysteries this year I'm talking about 10 things I've learned from cozy mysteries.

1.  If you inherit any piece of property sell it sight unseen and as is - especially if you've never been inside or haven't for years.  Granted someone else will stumble over the body that's hiding in the wall or attic or flower bed but it won't be your problem.

2.  On a similar note never ever buy anything that closes like a trunk or a wardrobe without doing a thorough inspection at the location you're buying it.  Better yet have the seller do the inspection so you're not the one with that image in your head!

3.  Always keep your phone charged.  If you let your phone die bad things will happen.

4.  If you ever have an argument in public with someone make sure that you are always with multiple people until someone else is in a public argument with that same person because they will be murdered and you will need an alibi.

5.  Opening a business in a small town is not only somewhat dangerously financially but it is also incredibly dangerous to your life.  You will most likely be murdered, a murderer, or falsely accused.

6.  Only walk your dog in dog parks or cleared areas where you can clearly see all the land around you because if they start sniffing at a bush or what not you are about to discover a body and you don't want that image in your head.

7.  Never meet someone that you have either had a contentious relationship OR are in the middle of a tense business transaction with alone.  They will be dead and you will be a suspect and that will be inconvenient.

8.  Grandmothers are not to be trusted.  Best case scenario they're going to try to fix you up with a neighbor or insist on doing some kind of spiritual cleanse in your house/small business after a body is discovered.  Worst case you're about to be tricked into running a haunted bookstore or inn with them.  Either way at some point they're going to be suspected of murder and you're going to be suspected of murder and you're each going to find dead bodies and things are just going to get crazy.

9.  Mothers are also not to be trusted.  They're not as bad as grandmothers but they're a close second.

10.  While life in a cozy mystery seems chaotic and pretty stressful they typically have pretty good snacks and usually an adorable pet or two and a decent supply of books/crafting supplies so I think those make everything equal out okay.

If you read cozy mysteries what have you learned from them?