Top Ten Tuesday - Top Ten Things I've Learned from Cozy Mysteries

This week's Top Ten Tuesday topic from The Broke and the Bookish is a freebie.  Since I've been reading a lot of cozy mysteries lately and watching a lot of Murder She Wrote (where each episode is essentially a cozy mystery) the trends that exist in the genre have been in my mind.  It is a genre that I absolutely love so I decided to have a little fun with the trends.  So the Top Ten Things I've Learned from Cozy Mysteries as Told Through Eyes of the Main Character:

1.  You will find a body in the vicinity of your store on an annual basis.

2. If you are the relative, friend, or significant other of a small business owner you will be a murderer, suspected of murder, framed for murder, or if you're really unlucky, actually murdered.

3.  The police in your town will either be:
a) incredibly incompetent and/or corrupt
b) a long time family friend
c) your husband or boyfriend and if you're really lucky will have an ex on the force who is out to get you.

4.  Beware of visitors.  They will either be victims or murderers within 48 hours of arrival.

5.  If you get in a public argument with someone and at any point say something that sounds even vaguely like a threat they only have about 12 hours left to live.

6.  Your store, diner, restaurant or home will be set on fire, broken into, or vandalized at least once a year.

7.  People who move to your town are up to no good.  They are either targeting another resident or hiding from someone who is out to get them.

8.  Every small town has at least one boutique, one bookstore, one diner, one antique shop and one gift type store.  Don't get to friendly with the other owners.  They're either about to die or going to kill someone.

9.  The mayor very rarely fills an entire term as he/she is either murdered or arrested for murder midway through.  Unless you're the mayor.  Then it will be the police chief.

10.  You will have a pet.  It could be a dog or a cat but it could also be a bird, a rabbit,or even a tortoise.  Your pet will have an attitude and you will discuss the case with it.